Good late afternoon to you all,

I wanted to take a moment and wish you a wonderful Thanksgiving this year. Things are busy around the house for me. I am in the process of going to school and working so trying to think of a blog to do has been difficult. I also wanted to let you know that this January I will be doing a post a week or so. I wanted to give you highlights of what has been going on. In time I want to be able to write here instead of the journal on here. To me, it just makes sense.

Again a wonderful Thanksgiving to you all.
May it be a blessed day for you.

My New Life

Looking back on my twenty one years of married life I had experienced, I guess the joy was always Easter time. I see Easter as a new birth on life. I see it as a starting over. It is, in a way, what I am doing now. I am letting go of the past and moving on towards a new future. With the emotional, mental abuse and neglect I have experienced I need a new birth. A new lease on life. The old passed the new has come 1 Corinthians 5:17.

Easter always brings out the best in me. I am much more happier now living in Bolivar with my mom. I have a job that I love. I clean homes plus a couple of businesses. I attend church at First Baptist Church in Bolivar. I am making friends and renewing the old friends I had before I left. I do not have the night mares or night terrors. I no longer walk in my sleep. I am moving on.

My healing comes from the only source. His name is Jesus. I have made up my mind to forgive Warren, my ex. I realize that he will not ever forgive me, that is okay. I can live with it. Maybe,in time, he will forgive. But it will be his time and not mine. I am not bitter for what happened, only better. I can move on with a clean heart.

If you are going through the same thing, may I suggest to forgive? I know it sounds odd, but it does wonders for your attitude. I read a Divorce Care email and it was talking about forgiveness. Forgiveness has made me grateful that I went through this horrible ordeal. I can now share my story with others. People, especially women, need to know that they can bounce back from abuse. Whether it is mental, emotional, spiritual, or physical or neglect. Talk to professionals on how to deal with this abuse.

Hot line phone number– 1-800-779-SAFE (7233)

My New Life

This is the my story of how I came away from an abusive marriage. My abuse was mental and emotional, but was still real. I have had my ups and downs. I am learning there is something better out there for me.

Each life is unique and is used by God. I am no different. I was married for twenty one years and I lived in St. Louis Missouri. I knew things were going down hill, but I tried to hang on. To be that devoted Christian wife that wanted to see her family succeed. It did not happen like I dreamed. We both brought issues to the table.

His, with his gaming, working long hours, school, and not giving his family, wife and son, time. Time to cultivate the family relationship. My fault in this was that I was in survival mode. Trying to keep things going, but also feeling the marriage crumbling. Until the day I realized that my ex had no love in his heart for me. His love, was a love for money. He wanted my money and had gotten a lot of it.

My son, was telling me to divorce my ex. He did not like the arguing. Which I could understand. So this past December the divorce was final. The arguments we would have was enough for him. My son, lives in St. Louis with his father. I did not want him resenting me for bringing him to a small town. He is thriving. Heading to Purdue this fall to go to college. I am more than proud of him.

People told me to work on the marriage. I had fifteen long years of counseling of trying to do the right thing. The last round just told me my ex wanted to keep me on the low end of the totem pole. The counselor asked my ex what value he placed on me. My ex described all the bills we needed to pay. There was no value on me. I was second.

I feel like people have condemned me for the divorce. I am no longer loved by God. Might I just add I have value to God. I am loved by God. I am precious in His sight. I do not think they could see the ex’s hand in it. I am still me. I have not changed. I am still the genuine, authentic person who loves the Lord. It really saddens me that people do not have a loving hand in my case. I was not at fault. There was emotional and mental abuse.

After all of this I have been sleeping so much better. I do not have the bad dreams that I had while married. I do not have the nightmares that brought me out of a restful sleep each night. I am moving on and working through the hurt. Believe me , it will take time to work through this. But I am a survivor. I am learning to let go.

If I knew then what I know now, I would have not gotten married. I would have waited for the right one to love me as I was, the genuine, authentic person I am now. Not living behind a mask.

Blessings and Keep Smiling.

October 1, 2017

October 1, 2017 will be etched in this land as the worst massacre ever

happening on our nations soil. In Las Vegas, Nevada a gunman went on a shooting

spree killing fifty nine people plus himself. He had guns in his motel room. We

, as a country, do not understand why this happened. We wrestle with where do

we go from here? Do we make tougher gun laws? Do we ban automatic rifles?

Granted, I cannot answer these questions, but I can give a sense of hope in the

despair we felt.

As I look back over the last weeks events, I am saddened, confused, and I

wonder what goes on in the minds of people. I ask myself “Why did this happen?”

“Did he act alone?” In time, these answers will come to the surface at why he

did this. And probably more answers to our questions will be answered as time

goes on.

The words by President Trump were what we, as a nation, needed to hear. It was

pure evil that at what this madman did. We, as a nation, are so divided in what

we believe. And yet with this transpiring, it brought this country back together. Working together as one in a common bond.

We have triumphant stories of heroes coming out on how they saved lives. To

these and so many more thank you for keeping people safe and sound. We

appreciate you and all your hard work. You will also be etched in the hearts

and minds as heroes.

We, as a country, are in mourning. We cry for the fallen who laid their lives

down and to the responders who were on the ground helping people out of harms

way. They were doing their duty. Thank you to one and all who risked their

lives to help rescue someone.

Image processed by CodeCarvings Piczard ### FREE Community Edition ### on 2017-10-02 14:35:19Z | http://piczard.com | http://codecarvings.com°·´Ñbêþ

TOPSHOT – Destiny Alvers who attended the Route 91 country music festival and helped rescue her friend who was shot, reacts at a makeshift memorial on the Las Vegas Strip in Las Vegas, Nevada on October 3, 2017, after a gunman killed 59 people and wounded more than 500 others when he opened fire from a hotel window on a country music festival.
Police said the gunman, a 64-year-old local resident named as Stephen Paddock, had been killed after a SWAT team responded to reports of multiple gunfire from the 32nd floor of the Mandalay Bay, a hotel-casino next to the concert venue. / AFP PHOTO / Mark RALSTONMARK RALSTON/AFP/Getty Images

Songs To Think About:

I have heard so much about what is going on in this country and very sad to see it. Yet, no words really come to mind. All I can do is play some songs that have really hit home for me. Most of these you will be familiar with. Please leave a comment or better yet please post a song that really inspires you. Thank you for taking the time to listen to this blog.

1. Ann Murray’s A Little Good News

2. Peter, Paul and Mary’s Blowing in the Wind

3. Peter, Paul and Mary’s Where Have all the Flowers Gone?

4. Peter, Paul and Mary’s This Land is Your Land

5. John Lennon’s I Can Only Imagine

Whatever your stance on this, can’t we just live in peace?

Blessings and Keep Smiling.

My Life Now

It has been a while since I had touched base with you, my followers. I have had days when I think I need to post something and it never transpires. Things creep in and the time escapes me.

2016 brought head ache, heart ache and turmoil to my life. Warren and I had talked divorce. It was coming out daily. I found us talking of it which was something I was not going to bring up, but the aches of the marriage just got to me and we were in complete agreement on this. Finally, on April 5, 2017, I filed for divorce. Warren and I fell out of love with one another. We were not a couple or a family any more. We went out separate ways even though we lived together for so long.

Daniel, our seventeen year old decided to stay in St. Louis. He is in his last year of school. He has a job at Arby’s. Plus he has his friends up there. I did not want him resenting me for taking him away from his home, friends, school and job. I keep in contact with him on texting and calling. He is doing okay. We miss one another.

I moved to Bolivar at the end of May. I am currently working at McDonald’s serving smiles to people who need a lift. I am also cleaning homes for people. Living with my mom. She has been supportive of me and this decision I have made. I am moving on with Celebrate Recovery and Divorce Care. These are two avenues I am getting the necessary healing.

Just an update. Had the first settlement conference this week. It went well. But will have another one in October. I am feeling like my life is moving in the right direction. It has been 21 years since I have felt more like myself. I will try and keep you appraised of the situation. Have a great night. Hugs to all.

Pet Appreciation Week: Animals We Love

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We all love our pets don’t we? Whether dog, cat, hamster or a bird. These animals have become family to us. We treat them just like one of the family. They are our personal comfort pals. They know when we are happy, sad, or not feeling well. We get more response from our pets than the humans we live with.

God gave us these priceless companions to show us the compassion of an animal. We are grateful they are in our lives for sure. Animals spend their time making us happy. And we make them happy with petting them and welcoming them into our home. Always a good idea to to adopt from a shelter rather than from a pet shop.

June 8,2016 is Pet Appreciation Week. Let’s all “Raise a Paw” and share how animals have made a difference in the lives of those coping with illness.

How about you? Please share a photo of your pet.

Blessings and Keep Smiling.

Selah: Among the Hills

This last weekend had the privilege of going to Selah: Among the Hills, a retreat center in Arcadia Missouri. It is two hours outside of St. Louis.

This has been something I have needed for a long time. A time to get away from the rat race of the city. Where you can look up into the night sky and see the stars and constellations. Besides, having wild life right outside the door.

Selah, is primarily a Christian women’s camp. Small groups work so much better. In our group, we had six women. For us, that was a good size. We got alone with God and really communed. Then, Sunday we had a church service. The service hit me pretty hard. With Warren being underemployed I had to release things to God and let go and to trust. Totally Relying Under Stressful Times. Came back renewed and refreshed. It was, for me, a refreshing time.

And lastly, you are probably wondering about the food. Oh my word, we ate like queens while there. Usually a snack does well for me. Did not need snacks at all.

Will share the link at the bottom of this blog post with a song. If interested in a small group or just a couple of people like we had, go and get refreshed. It will do you a world of good

http://www.selahamongthehills.com/